offtopic MAN baby

[Jacques Cousteau]

#MAN BABY


BABY(1)                  USER COMMANDS                    BABY(1)

NAME
     BABY - create new process from two parent processes

SYNOPSIS

     BABY [ -sex ] [ -name ]

DESCRIPTION

     BABY is initiated when one parent process polls another server
process through a socket connection (BSD) or through pipes in the
System V implementation. BABY runs at a low priority for approximately
40 weeks then terminates with heavy system load. Most systems require
constant monitoring when BABY reaches its final stages of execution.

        Older implementations of BABY required that the initiating
process not be present at the time of completion. In these versions
the initiating process is awakened and notified of the results upon
completion. Modern versions allow both parent processes to be active
during the final stages of BABY.


OPTIONS

        -sex
          option indicating type of process created.

        -name
          process identification to be attached to the new process.

RESULT
     Successful execution of the BABY(1) results in new process
     being created and named. Parent processes then typically
     broadcast messages to all other processes informing them of their
     new status in the system.


BUGS
     The SLEEP command may not work on either parent processes for some
     time afterward, as new BABY processes constantly send interrupts
     which must be handled by one or more parent.

     BABY processes upon being created may frequently dump
     in /tmp requiring /tmp to be cleaned out frequently by one
     of the parent processes.

SEE ALSO
        sleep(1) dump(8) cry(3)



SEX(6)              EUNUCH Programmer's Manual               SEX(6)



NAME
     sex - have sex

SYNOPSIS
     sex [ options ] ...  [ username ] ...

DESCRIPTION
     sex allows the invoker to have sex with the user(s) speci-
     fied in the command line.  If no users are specified, they
     are taken from the LOVERS environment variable.  Options to
     make things more interesting are as follows:

     -1   masturbate

     -a   external stimulus (aphrodisiac) option

     -b   buggery

     -B<animal>
          bestiality with <animal>

     -c   chocolate sauce option

     -C   chaining option (cuffs included) (see also -m -s -W)

     -d<file>
          get a date with the features described in <file>

     -e   exhibitionism (image sent to all machines on the net)

     -f   foreplay option

     -F   nasal sex with plants

     -i   coitus interruptus (messy!)

     -j   jacuzzi option (California sites only)

     -l   leather option

     -m   masochism (see -s)

     -M   triple parallel (Menage a Trois) option

     -n   necrophilia (if target process is not dead, program
          kills it)

     -o   oral option

     -O   parallel access (orgy)

     -p   debug option (proposition only)

     -P   pedophilia (must specify a child process)



Printed 2/15/87              2/15/87                            1






SEX(6)              EUNUCH Programmer's Manual               SEX(6)



     -q   quickie (wham, bam, thank you, ma'am)

     -s   sadism (target must set -m)

     -S   sundae option

     -v   voyeurism (surveys the entire net)

     -w   whipped cream option

     -W   whips (see also -s, -C, and -m)

ENVIRONMENT
     LOVERS
          is a list of default partners which will be used if
          none are specified in the command line.  If any are
          specified, the values in LOVERS is ignored.

FILES
     /usr/lib/sex/animals          animals for bestiality

     /usr/lib/sex/blackbook        possible dates

     /usr/lib/sex/sundaes          sundae recipes

     /usr/lib/sex/s&m         sado-masochistic equipment



BUGS
     ^C (quit process) may leave the user very unsatisfied.

     ^Z (stop process) is usually quite messy.

MAN AUTHOR
     Author prefers to be anonymous.

HISTORY
     Oldest program ever.




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